Attraction is THE KEY for a woman to be interested in you. It is a feeling they get, and as we all know, women are all about feeling, and less about thinking. You might not believe it, but from experience, I know that women can do/say/.. anything, because of a feeling they have. There's no explanation but a feeling. To us, men, it might seem illogical, unexplainable, and when you ask for an explanation, you won't get any. To a woman, a feeling can be a very legit reason they can trust and act upon. This is one of the most influential differences between men and women when it comes to relationships.
Anyways, before continuing, I should give you a glimpse on the 3 phase model. Meeting and talking to women happens in 3 phases:
1. Attraction
2. Comfort
3. Seduction
The first phase indeed is attraction. The attraction phase happens from the moment a girl notices you, untill some minutes in the conversation. Some moments have higher signification than others: the first time they see you and how you start talking to her (notice the how, not the words) are more key than the period in between. However, during this period, you should still maintain radiating your high value.
Before you can demonstrate high value (DHV), a girl has to notice you first. So how do you make sure everyone sees you? The male peacock has a nice big tail with colors which it shows of to impress the females. That is why men too need an item to make them stand out. This is called the peacock theory. In Belgium it's not common to wear or bring items which are EXTRAordinary. But you can wear a certain necklace, watch, T-shirt, do something with your hair, ... You'll have to find an item that suits you, that identifies you, that draws attention. However, make sure it doesn't define you too much, you should be able to remove it if necessary, and it doesn't always have to be the same item. Switch from time to time and check which generates the most attention. It can be very hard to find a good peacocking item, search the web and comment below if you find a good, 'normal' one! Next to peacocking, the item will also give the girl a chance to make a comment about you: 'nice watch/necklace/...'. This is an indicator of interest (IOI) which you'll read more about later on. There's also plenty other options to get noticed: if you enter a cafe/.. with a group of fine women, you will be seen too. This however will only be possible once you've mastered some of the PUA theory. There's also other options like making a lot of noise and so on, but the latter might not be high value but rather be experienced as irritating. If you think of other ways to be noticed, feel free to comment.
So part 1, the noticing, is covered. The girls now SEE you. You might wear something which stands out, you might not. So now that you are seen, you should make sure the girls like what they see. They don't have to think they like it, they have to FEEL it. After all, attraction is a feeling. Think of a girl entering a premise where you're at, what type of girl would you like coming in? First thing that comes into my mind, is that she has a certain level of hygiene. She has to be clean, the same is for you. She has to have a certain look (clothing etc) which you like. This doesn't mean you should change your clothing/style, but if you don't have a specific style or (and probably this is true) if your mom still chooses and buys your clothes, watch the most popular guys and try matching their style - if you don't dislike it. Stay true to yourself (if you have found out already who you are), or betray yourself and thus betray your next relationship. So hygiene and look are two things that certainly matter. Next to that, there's also a social value you probably didn't think of. Wouldn't you like a girl coming in smiling or laughing, having fun with her friends, .. more than a girl that enters face down, 'normal face', 'scanning who's in the place'? This is exactly the same way you should enter and should be seen the first time. Having fun will always be high value, and you will be more likeable. Now those tips were on entering a premise only, where girls on the lookout will be looking for anyways (been there done that, experienced it!).
Now, once you're in the building, how should you behave? You need to show off a good body language. Body language is such an important topic, that I will dedicate a whole post on the subject. I'll insert a link here later on.
So now, when you've entered and behaved the correct way, you'll notice some women are attracted to you. But how do you notice? Women will, consciously and unconsciously, start giving you Indicators of Interest (IOI's). When you start seeing IOI's, you know you've mastered attraction. IOI's are women making eye contact (and mostly looking down right after), initiating conversation, repeatedly standing close to you, playing with their hair, scratching the top of their hand, turning their hips and shoulders to you while in conversation, ... (use google) Know any more IOI's? Feel free to comment!
Both of these steps are all executed before you even started talking to the girls. In the following posts, I'll tell you more about body language and opening.
Extra:
There's one more aspect in building attraction, for which you have to rely on others. The people who you are with, are part of your value. If you are around 10 guys, make sure you are the leader of the group. If you are not, someone else will have higher value than you, and you'll be lost forever. A better thing to do however, is to be with plenty of (hot) girls. Being with girls gives you the advantage of preselection. I think all of you know that a guy/girl who is in a relationship, automatically becomes much more attractive (do you know the feeling?). This is because of preselection. Preselection means that someone is already selected as being a (potential) partner by someone of the other gender. People will automatically feel and think that, since s/he is / could be in a relationship, s/he is a good partner and a good mate, and has already been approved.
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Preface
Dear soon-to-be-high-valued-males,
This blog is about becoming a happier and better man by improving your social life. I'll first start of with some informal posts and later on continue with 'the shit'. This post is about your current situation. It's about who you are, what you do, how you interact with women. If you've come to this page, in 99% of all cases, your situation will be as described below. This to-the-point blog will guide you to seize your life and become the man you want to be - in all aspects. Being able to radiate high value will impact your everyday social life, and will change it alltogether.
So, back to your situation. Probably you're single. Probably you're afraid of talking to women, you don't know what to say, you don't get any attention from the girls you want. Yet you feel like you deserve it. You're a good guy, someone who, and you truly believe this, would make the best boyfriend/husband in the world - if you found a good match. You might have - but probably most of you won't - some female friends, but either you're friendzoned or you're not attracted to them. You're more of a boys-guy (after all, bro's are more fun than ho's to hang out with! ;)). If you don't match the above description, read on anyways (but feel free to comment what you're like!). So why are no girls interested in you? You might be insecure about your looks, even if they're ok/good, but that's not it. Probably you're waiting for a girl to start talking to you or magically getting connected or introduced to someone, but it's not gonna happen (the latter might, by small chance). In the former case, if a girl would ever come and talk to you, this might be a sign of dominance (although not in all cases, this is a likely fact). If you want to do your own thing and be the one holding the scepter in your relationship, you should be the dominant one in your relationship! Two dominant characters are likely to collide and you'll end up unhappy and eventually break up. Probably you haven't been in much relationships and you haven't discovered who you really are and what you are really looking for, something which can best be learned in longlasting relationships - ask any father, he would want their kids to have a relationship from 16 to 20-21, then break up and find a better match, knowing what to look for.
So, why is it then, that a good guy like you, can't find a good girlfriend? Why is no one attracted to you? Why doesn't anyone come and talk to you? Why are you being friendzoned? The reason is because you're thinking of something completely wrong when it comes to attraction. Attraction is not about 'being friendly', 'understanding a girl', 'complimenting her', 'having a nice talk'. Attraction happens WAY BEFORE even talking to the girl, and is not a choice (I'll tell you more about this in the 3 phase post). Attraction happens in the very few first moments when a girl even notices you, when she decides whether or not to keep an eye on you and see if you continue radiating HIGH VALUE. Yes I said continue, because you should radiate high value at all times, especially when entering a place or when you're first seen by a target (thus: just about everywhere). It's in your walk, in your eyes, it's in your body language. It's not in the words you say - yet.
The importance of high value stems from the early days when humankind still lived in small packs. High value means high social value, and depicts your level in society. Humans have an inner urge to procreate. The first implication this has, is who to procreate with? The higher the social value, the better. That is also why people with a lot of money, power, ... attract more women than others. They have a higher value because they know how to make money, protect and take care of their beloved, etc. Your value - whether or not it's legit - determines the amount of girls who are attracted to you, and how attracted they will be. The girls with higher social value - the cute ones - have a high social value and thus you'll need an even higher one. Think about it, it's true. If you don't believe it, look at the world, look outside, and continue reading this blog once you believe it. It's true.
The goal in this blog is to improve your social value and social interaction. It should NOT be your goal to get married to the first girl this guide learns you to get attraction from (as you probably have in the past, and most people like your parents have done in their past). She might be the one, but don't forget to be realistic, there's plenty more fish in the sea, and following this guide will make you able to talk to plenty of women and get the one you really want. My goal in studying PUA, is to find a GOOD girl, who is close to a perfect match to me, with whom I can grow old and have a long and happy life, and kids, and so on.
So say these words out loud and promise them to yourself: I will not use this info to marry the first girl I meet, of whom I don't know whether we fit together, and end up with an unhappy releationship and get divorced. I will however use this info to be able to get the girl of my dreams whenever I meet her!
This blog is about becoming a happier and better man by improving your social life. I'll first start of with some informal posts and later on continue with 'the shit'. This post is about your current situation. It's about who you are, what you do, how you interact with women. If you've come to this page, in 99% of all cases, your situation will be as described below. This to-the-point blog will guide you to seize your life and become the man you want to be - in all aspects. Being able to radiate high value will impact your everyday social life, and will change it alltogether.
So, back to your situation. Probably you're single. Probably you're afraid of talking to women, you don't know what to say, you don't get any attention from the girls you want. Yet you feel like you deserve it. You're a good guy, someone who, and you truly believe this, would make the best boyfriend/husband in the world - if you found a good match. You might have - but probably most of you won't - some female friends, but either you're friendzoned or you're not attracted to them. You're more of a boys-guy (after all, bro's are more fun than ho's to hang out with! ;)). If you don't match the above description, read on anyways (but feel free to comment what you're like!). So why are no girls interested in you? You might be insecure about your looks, even if they're ok/good, but that's not it. Probably you're waiting for a girl to start talking to you or magically getting connected or introduced to someone, but it's not gonna happen (the latter might, by small chance). In the former case, if a girl would ever come and talk to you, this might be a sign of dominance (although not in all cases, this is a likely fact). If you want to do your own thing and be the one holding the scepter in your relationship, you should be the dominant one in your relationship! Two dominant characters are likely to collide and you'll end up unhappy and eventually break up. Probably you haven't been in much relationships and you haven't discovered who you really are and what you are really looking for, something which can best be learned in longlasting relationships - ask any father, he would want their kids to have a relationship from 16 to 20-21, then break up and find a better match, knowing what to look for.
So, why is it then, that a good guy like you, can't find a good girlfriend? Why is no one attracted to you? Why doesn't anyone come and talk to you? Why are you being friendzoned? The reason is because you're thinking of something completely wrong when it comes to attraction. Attraction is not about 'being friendly', 'understanding a girl', 'complimenting her', 'having a nice talk'. Attraction happens WAY BEFORE even talking to the girl, and is not a choice (I'll tell you more about this in the 3 phase post). Attraction happens in the very few first moments when a girl even notices you, when she decides whether or not to keep an eye on you and see if you continue radiating HIGH VALUE. Yes I said continue, because you should radiate high value at all times, especially when entering a place or when you're first seen by a target (thus: just about everywhere). It's in your walk, in your eyes, it's in your body language. It's not in the words you say - yet.
The importance of high value stems from the early days when humankind still lived in small packs. High value means high social value, and depicts your level in society. Humans have an inner urge to procreate. The first implication this has, is who to procreate with? The higher the social value, the better. That is also why people with a lot of money, power, ... attract more women than others. They have a higher value because they know how to make money, protect and take care of their beloved, etc. Your value - whether or not it's legit - determines the amount of girls who are attracted to you, and how attracted they will be. The girls with higher social value - the cute ones - have a high social value and thus you'll need an even higher one. Think about it, it's true. If you don't believe it, look at the world, look outside, and continue reading this blog once you believe it. It's true.
The goal in this blog is to improve your social value and social interaction. It should NOT be your goal to get married to the first girl this guide learns you to get attraction from (as you probably have in the past, and most people like your parents have done in their past). She might be the one, but don't forget to be realistic, there's plenty more fish in the sea, and following this guide will make you able to talk to plenty of women and get the one you really want. My goal in studying PUA, is to find a GOOD girl, who is close to a perfect match to me, with whom I can grow old and have a long and happy life, and kids, and so on.
So say these words out loud and promise them to yourself: I will not use this info to marry the first girl I meet, of whom I don't know whether we fit together, and end up with an unhappy releationship and get divorced. I will however use this info to be able to get the girl of my dreams whenever I meet her!
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